Friday was a little scary, as we reviewed the MRI results with my Oncologist. In the report, as Sherri noted in her last entry, there was an area of "enhancement" noted in this MRI which was not noted on the previous MRI report in January,.. Dr Thompson, remembered that the same area was noted on the post-op MRI last October, so he had an addendum added in which the current area was measured and compaired to the post op.. and it is smaller and less enhanced now than in the Post-Op MRI.. However, Dr Congdon does want monthly MRI's done for at least 3 months to monitor this spot..
Both physicians, Sherri and I all feel feel that it is nothing to worry about.. just some scar tissue from the surgery or .. now enhanced because of ??????.
Live On! Love On! Happy Spring!
P.S. It snowed 3" here in Bellingham Saturday.. March 29th.. !!!
Love to all
Richard
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
MRI Results!!!
Richard and I just got home from seeing the head of the clinical trial manager (Dr. Thompson, Richard's radiologist) and his assistant (Cheryl....who is really the manager :)!!!). We were given the results of yesterday's MRI!!! The MRI looked very good...excellent in fact!!!! The area of enhancement that was noted in the last MRI looked even smaller and there is no new tumor growth. We are breathing a huge sigh of relief and total joy!!!!
We both went into this MRI feeling like everything was going to be stable and fine....but no matter how strong our belief is....I think we both still worry.....I know we both worry. Faith is such a hard thing to maintain...even when your belief is so clear and strong. And....as our journey continues (now almost seven months) the worry is always close.
Yesterday, as they took Richard through the door to the MRI machine, he turned around and looked at me, an eye piercing look, for just a moment. I smiled back trying desperately to send him positive assurance as he again entered that big, noisy tube and went through the procedure. It's amazing...how I still get choked up as he bravely faces each of these hurdles. I have such pride and admiration for him as he continues through this journey. He is my warrior.
Todays blood work showed some concern regarding the lymphocyte levels. This is what they really watch over the course of the chemo. He's having to go back in and do some more bloodwork.....He says, "Oh well....another poke". We see the oncologist in Everett tomorrow so we will have more news about all that then. They really watch all his bloodwork very closely. I am sosososo glad. We have an amazing team. I am so thankful.
Richard reported to the doctor today that he was feeling more tired. He also said that the nausea levels have required two anti-nausea pills on some days. He has loss around ten pounds....his appetite has definately changed. He's only working about 30 hours a week at this point...which is incredible compared to other chemo patients. On the whole he is quite the specimen if you ask me.
So...we march forward....gleaning as much from this experience as possible. We are thankful for so much. I think we are getting better at "living" with our situation and we're both making good choices in honoring our committment to loving one another, being in the present moment, getting rest, exercising, eating well and remembering, at all times, our many blessings.
Thank you for continuing to hold us in your thoughts. Everyone's prayers and beliefs in Richard's total recovery are working miracles here on East Maplewood. We carry your light with us daily.
Love Sherri
We both went into this MRI feeling like everything was going to be stable and fine....but no matter how strong our belief is....I think we both still worry.....I know we both worry. Faith is such a hard thing to maintain...even when your belief is so clear and strong. And....as our journey continues (now almost seven months) the worry is always close.
Yesterday, as they took Richard through the door to the MRI machine, he turned around and looked at me, an eye piercing look, for just a moment. I smiled back trying desperately to send him positive assurance as he again entered that big, noisy tube and went through the procedure. It's amazing...how I still get choked up as he bravely faces each of these hurdles. I have such pride and admiration for him as he continues through this journey. He is my warrior.
Todays blood work showed some concern regarding the lymphocyte levels. This is what they really watch over the course of the chemo. He's having to go back in and do some more bloodwork.....He says, "Oh well....another poke". We see the oncologist in Everett tomorrow so we will have more news about all that then. They really watch all his bloodwork very closely. I am sosososo glad. We have an amazing team. I am so thankful.
Richard reported to the doctor today that he was feeling more tired. He also said that the nausea levels have required two anti-nausea pills on some days. He has loss around ten pounds....his appetite has definately changed. He's only working about 30 hours a week at this point...which is incredible compared to other chemo patients. On the whole he is quite the specimen if you ask me.
So...we march forward....gleaning as much from this experience as possible. We are thankful for so much. I think we are getting better at "living" with our situation and we're both making good choices in honoring our committment to loving one another, being in the present moment, getting rest, exercising, eating well and remembering, at all times, our many blessings.
Thank you for continuing to hold us in your thoughts. Everyone's prayers and beliefs in Richard's total recovery are working miracles here on East Maplewood. We carry your light with us daily.
Love Sherri
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
RV
Sherri and I decided to take a little get away trip in our RV (Thanks DAD). It was the second time that we had used it, the first being last September just a couple weeks before my diagnosis. This did not enter my mind throughout the entire weekend and we, along with Sherri's sister, Jodi and her husband, Richard enjoyed a real RV weekend at Padilla Bay. Padilla bay is across near Anecdotes (and an oil refinery) and jut 30 miles from our home in Bellingham. We are lucky to live in such a beautiful part of the country. We also saw several eagles, one in a tree about 30 feet away, and a family of five soaring high overhead. We had wonderful walks on the beach and to a nearby wildlife preserve. We ate delicious food and are looking forward to many more get aways this summer. Here are some photo's from the trip.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Love
The days and weeks go flying by. It's so hard to believe that it has been almost six months since Richard's diagnosis. It seems like yesterday when I was sitting in Dr. Goodman's office hearing that my beloved husband had a brain tumor. I think, maybe, just a little bit, I may be coming out of the shock of the news and the events that followed.
It has been such a hard time....so challenging in so many ways........... Yet....it has also been such a blessed time. How can that be? And is it those two extremes that make me often feel like I am not part of this world anymore....as if I can't relate.....as if I don't fit in? My main teacher has not been the brain tumor....or the removal of it....but my Teacher has been Richard and also my own inner heart....the tumor has only given me a reason to listen and pay attention to every detail.
Richard is a natural teacher. He teaches by example....always..... He moves and acts with an awareness of humanity that is absolutely amazing. He truly is always asking....what would love do in this situation...and given that parameter he moves, makes decisions, acts with "light". I am often standing in awe of his depth of compassion and sensitivity....and in the congruency between his beliefs and his actions. To say I love him seems like such an understatement.
I have learned, too, that I am strong and capable. I'm not afraid of loving anymore....not just Richard....but truly moving through my days taking risks, listening, looking people in the eye, letting myself feel their own struggles, triumphs, happiness and fears and trusting that I have an inner wisdom that I can trust and rely on. All my fears are slowly growing smaller....and my ability to be genuine seems to be taking over. It isn't easy.....sometimes I am so overwhelmed and frightened I feel totally frozen....but if I find my heart, my soul, my "being"...I find the way...just for me....no one elses way....but my own. And I have to believe that that is right.
My favorite times, of course, are times when Richard and I are together...feeling easy in our experience.....talking, laughing, telling stories, making plans.....but mainly I love listening to him and being moved by his wisdom, his true loving nature, his committment to creating a reality of love, nuturance and health.
There are always the moments where my breath is totally taken away by the thoughts that someday I may have to experience a life without this man. I become frozen thinking that I may not always have him beside me. The fear is huge, dark and cold.....and so intense. And I don't believe that those moments will ever grow easier or even lessen in their occurence. I'm coming to accept that they are part of this total journey that we are on.
Sometimes these thoughts make me afraid that I'm losing my focus, my strength....but I'm learning that it is because of the depth of my strength and love that I am led to these places and that I will be OK. I'm learning to let myself "feel" it all....the good and the bad. I guess I'm learning to believe that you can't have one without the other. My breath seems to get me through these times....I can't run fast enough to get away from these thoughts....but I've become aware that sitting with them is not all that bad.
I love "tending" to Richard....the little things....getting him water, helping him take off his shoes, bringing the covers up around his neck when he has the chills, pulling his little hat down over his ears so he stays warm. I need to touch him....just simply.....my hand on his cheek, reaching out and touching his arm at night...not to wake him....but just to feel his warmth and his presence, holding hands, sitting in the chair with him as we watch TV, nuzzling his neck with my nose taking in his wonderful smell, rubbing his little bald head, rubbing my foot along his leg. It's these moments that my hands are the most tender....loving, nuturing, speaking...saying I love you. I've never been aware of that language....I am thankful I am learning it now.
We are doing well as we become more familiar with this journey. We are learning how to live with chemotherapy, bloodwork, anticipated MRIs, antibiotics, lots of pills, wierd food cravings, a new quietness in our lives. We continue to be so thankful for all of you.....we feel you thinking of us....you are part of our strength.
My love, Sherri
It has been such a hard time....so challenging in so many ways........... Yet....it has also been such a blessed time. How can that be? And is it those two extremes that make me often feel like I am not part of this world anymore....as if I can't relate.....as if I don't fit in? My main teacher has not been the brain tumor....or the removal of it....but my Teacher has been Richard and also my own inner heart....the tumor has only given me a reason to listen and pay attention to every detail.
Richard is a natural teacher. He teaches by example....always..... He moves and acts with an awareness of humanity that is absolutely amazing. He truly is always asking....what would love do in this situation...and given that parameter he moves, makes decisions, acts with "light". I am often standing in awe of his depth of compassion and sensitivity....and in the congruency between his beliefs and his actions. To say I love him seems like such an understatement.
I have learned, too, that I am strong and capable. I'm not afraid of loving anymore....not just Richard....but truly moving through my days taking risks, listening, looking people in the eye, letting myself feel their own struggles, triumphs, happiness and fears and trusting that I have an inner wisdom that I can trust and rely on. All my fears are slowly growing smaller....and my ability to be genuine seems to be taking over. It isn't easy.....sometimes I am so overwhelmed and frightened I feel totally frozen....but if I find my heart, my soul, my "being"...I find the way...just for me....no one elses way....but my own. And I have to believe that that is right.
My favorite times, of course, are times when Richard and I are together...feeling easy in our experience.....talking, laughing, telling stories, making plans.....but mainly I love listening to him and being moved by his wisdom, his true loving nature, his committment to creating a reality of love, nuturance and health.
There are always the moments where my breath is totally taken away by the thoughts that someday I may have to experience a life without this man. I become frozen thinking that I may not always have him beside me. The fear is huge, dark and cold.....and so intense. And I don't believe that those moments will ever grow easier or even lessen in their occurence. I'm coming to accept that they are part of this total journey that we are on.
Sometimes these thoughts make me afraid that I'm losing my focus, my strength....but I'm learning that it is because of the depth of my strength and love that I am led to these places and that I will be OK. I'm learning to let myself "feel" it all....the good and the bad. I guess I'm learning to believe that you can't have one without the other. My breath seems to get me through these times....I can't run fast enough to get away from these thoughts....but I've become aware that sitting with them is not all that bad.
I love "tending" to Richard....the little things....getting him water, helping him take off his shoes, bringing the covers up around his neck when he has the chills, pulling his little hat down over his ears so he stays warm. I need to touch him....just simply.....my hand on his cheek, reaching out and touching his arm at night...not to wake him....but just to feel his warmth and his presence, holding hands, sitting in the chair with him as we watch TV, nuzzling his neck with my nose taking in his wonderful smell, rubbing his little bald head, rubbing my foot along his leg. It's these moments that my hands are the most tender....loving, nuturing, speaking...saying I love you. I've never been aware of that language....I am thankful I am learning it now.
We are doing well as we become more familiar with this journey. We are learning how to live with chemotherapy, bloodwork, anticipated MRIs, antibiotics, lots of pills, wierd food cravings, a new quietness in our lives. We continue to be so thankful for all of you.....we feel you thinking of us....you are part of our strength.
My love, Sherri
Monday, March 10, 2008
Another day.
A quick update for you.. I thank Sherri for keeping up the blog, her writing is so good. I am now in my 3ed cycle of Temador, 200 mg day for 21 days. I am scheduled for a MRI on the 26th of March, and feel very confident that it will be clean with no evidence of regrowth.. seem that with most GBM patients, they are fine as log a they keep taking the Temador.. I am getting a little carry over nausea during the days sometimes, by my Zofran works excellent for that (as it should for $25.00 a tablet. I nap in the afternoons, and that along with walking if helping the fatigue.. (Sherri and I and our dogs did 4.5 miles on Saturday)
My love to all and keep those positive vibes coming.. they really are working!
Richard
My love to all and keep those positive vibes coming.. they really are working!
Richard
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