The second round of chemo is over!!!!

Hello Everyone!!! I hope this post finds you all healthy and happy. The sun has been shining and that seems like such a blessing. We've all made it through another winter in the Pacific Northwest. I noticed tonight that it was still light out past 5:30. Oh....I felt so happy!!!!

Richard finished his second round of chemotherapy last Friday evening. This time, during his week off, he continued taking the anti-nausea medication and he has done much better than last time. However.....he still is extremely tired and suffers some of the other side effects of the chemo.....cold chills, foggy brain, lack of appetite. He and I still feel so confident that this regime is the right one....and so when we start feeling down about how he feels we just remember the little "pac-men" (our chemo visualization that we've come up with) traveling around his brain searching for and chomping up any little cancer cells that may have survived through surgery, radiation and chemo.

Because of his suppressed auto-immune system (another chemo side effect) Richard has now caught a nasty bug that has morphed into strep throat!!!! I just can't believe it....chemo AND strep throat!!! That just seems so wrong. Our doctor immediately (today) put him on huge antibiotics....the big guns....so hopefully he'll be feeling better soon. People who take Temador (his specific type of chemo therapy) are very prone to lung infections and so he's been on a low dose antibiotic ever since he's been in the clinical trial.....but apparently those nasty little cold/strep bugs weren't deterred and were able to infect him anyway. Boy are they sorry now!!!!

The hardest part for both of us is to maintain our focus. Given our belief that our thoughts create our reality we try desperately to continue to believe that Richard is going to be a long term survivor of this brain cancer. However....we both are very aware of the seriousness of his disease and of the sad statistics that are published. We definately hold each other up....as daily we read about sad cases of glioblastoma, level 4 brain cancer. We remind each other of the successful surgery that Richard had where ALL of the tumor and margins were removed. And we remember the fabulous team that has put together the radiation and chemo therapy protocol for Richard's specific case. In addition, we hang onto the words of all of Rick's doctors who have told us that he is in the best possible statistical group. And then we look into each other's eyes and remember how much we love each other and how we have so much more to do here together. Three short years of marriage is not enough. We constantly assure one another that truly our hearts tell us that Richard will be a long term survivor!!! That's exactly how we get back on track. Exactly!!!!!

This week has been particularly difficult because we heard about a well known neurologist who lost his battle with GBM. This man was on the cutting edge of glioblastoma research, working on a new type of chemo therapy that is looking at using vaccines in treatment. Amazingly and sadly after years into his research he was, himself, diagnosed with a GBM three years ago. He had two years of tumor free MRIs after a vert aggressive treatment protocol of surgery, radiation and chemo therapy. During the past year he experienced tumor regrowth. After a valiant fight he died earlier in the week. This news hit us hard. It has given us time to, once again, evaluate our decisions and our tactics and again we have resumed our "walk in faith", holding one another's hands tightly.

My angels.... please continue sending Richard prayers of healing light. He is treasured by so many.

Love to you all!

Love Sherri

A sunnny day in Bellingham!

The sun is shining brightly and the skies are an amazing blue!!! It seems as though Spring has arrived. That is exactly how people in Bellingham react to our first sunny, warmish day. Everyone goes outside, puts on their cropped pants, dusts off their gardening gloves and gets ready for Spring. It's quite disappointing when the sunshine is just a tease.....but for right now we are all playing outside, spreading our arms wide and letting the rays sink into our pale, white skin. It truly is beautiful!!!

Since the weather man forecasted Sun for Sunday Richard has been planning a short motorcycle ride. He's been so excited about it and I've been praying all week that he would be able to take one. I got a huge catch in my throat as I watched him come up the driveway on his bike....with this huge, beautiful grin on his face. A few short months ago I was so frightened that he wouldn't be able to ride his bike again......but today he didn't skip a beat. He was gone for about a half hour and he came in the house smelling of fresh air and leather. He is my miracle man for sure.

We went to see Dr. Congdon (the oncologist) on Friday. Richard had a particularly rough week with the side effects of the chemo. He seemed to really struggle with fatigue and cold chills. He spent alot of time resting.....and also talked alot about how to do this chemo thing while still maintaining some control and normalcy.

I chose to stay close to home during the evenings and even canceled my journaling class. He didn't really need me....but the side effects, at times feel huge. There's absolutely nothing I can do but remain close by, trying to feed him, getting water, blankets, and just being there if he wants to talk. Those are the moments I treasure....the times we just talk. I will never tire of our conversations....about creating our new normal, about our plans for the future, about house projects, about how to cope, etc. Those times are when I know we are a true partnership.

We continue to feel the prayers and thoughts of so many people. Thank you for thinking of us.

Love Sherri

Time goes on and on.....

Before I know it....weeks have gone by and I realize that my writing has been ignored totally. I feel so strongly about keeping everyone informed of Richard's situation....you have all done so much for us...I feel like I want to communicate with everyone as much as I can. But then glorious life seems to happen, time seems to fly and my days get all lumped up. It's such a busy world....even fighting and beating brain cancer can't seem to slow it down!!!

I sit here, at my computer, listening to the rain and also listening to my precious cat's purr as she sits next to me nudging me to keep working and to take intermittent breaks to pet her and take a deep breath. My animals seem to remind me of the important things...stopping, attending, breathing, looking into eyes not just looking at whole faces. They often seem to be my best teachers. I am grateful that they don't lose patience with my stubborness regarding learning to slow down and do the important things.

Richard is laying down....he takes lots of time during our weekends to rest. I am so pleased that he feels well enough to work as much as he is. I know it is sosososo important to him. I support him everyday as he walks out that door because I know that at work he feels successful, important, needed, valued. All of that is so wonderful for him right now. But I am also so thankful for our time at home together. I keep myself busy in my studio while he rests....but his spirit seems to fill the house....I can touch his presence.....it means the world to me to just have him near.

I feel teary today as I write this...I don't know why...honestly...the tears don't seem to have a logic or a predictableness to their arrival...they just come. When I'm home and alone...I let them come. I've never let that happen before. But this time, now, it seems so important...that I even welcome my moments of reflection, tears, fullness, emotions. Slowly, over the past five months, I have learned that the tears will stop and that often I will be left with a re-welling of strength and focus. That is good. That is something to not be afraid of.

On the whole I think Richard is doing fabulously with his chemotherapy. He is starting his second week of his second month and the side effects seem to be tolerable. The fatigue is the hardest thing for him to deal with....mainly because it is such a different type of tired for him. But he is learning that resting, napping, sitting does help....and so he is letting himself do that. His appetite has also been strange lately...nothing seems appealing at times. But I can be a very creative cook....and his Mom tempts him with her precious comfort foods. Between the two of us....Rick is eating!!!!!

The biggest news for Richard is that he's joined a motorcycle group called, "Bikers Fighting Cancer". At first Richard was hesitant....but he was invited to one of their meetings and he has continued to communicate with some of the members. They are so beautifully supportive...I can't believe it. I am so thankful for their tender e-mails and words of encouragement. They're wonderful people and would drop everything if Richard needed them. They've asked Richard to take a motorcycle trip with them in August to a HUGE motorcycle rally in Sturgis, North Dakota. I believe that Richard is planning on joining them. I think that is sosososo awesome!!! (No I will not be going with him......I've ridden across Montana once on a motocycle.....my butt and I will NEVER do that again!!!! Anyway....this feels like a guy event!!! I'm thrilled for him!)

Here is a picture of our sweet cat, Mia. As you can tell....our life here on East Maplewood is pretty comfortable for all of us!!!!

We love you all!!!!

Blessings, Sherri