Wednesday, October 15, 2008

A HUGE sigh of relief!!!!

I'm sitting here with Richard and his Dad.......listening to Emily chat, chat, chat on the phone. All is well here at our house.

Yes....the last few days have been very hard in so many ways. I know that witnessing my husband going through a seizure is very traumatic. I lost alot of sleep for the next few days and it seemed like everytime I closed my eyes I would see Richard's eyes.....his stare and lack of focus during the seizure and his intense fear when he started coming around. I cried, cried, cried and then cried some more...I think my world was so shook, finally, everything that I have been stuffing and keeping in check for the past year (most of the time) came pouring out.
Also I was so afraid regarding what caused the seizure. It was a frightening few days....I lost my way for a while...set my strength aside for a while...and I guess, looking back, it was good for me to be whimpy for just a few days.

Two friends....Betsey and Christy....told me not to lose HOPE!!!! When they said that it hit me hard.......I had lost my hope....and I really needed to sit back, pray, open my heart and ask the Universe to help me. It's so true....when I lost hope and my focus...it became so difficult to "live" with cancer. That's horrible...but so easy to fall into.......so much during the past year has been hard....so much has made me feel powerless....so much had been taken away.... I lost the warmth in my heart, all the lessons I have learned, all the blessings that have come our way.

Sunday night we stayed in The Inn at Swedish Hospital because Richard had such an early MRI appointment on Monday morning. Dana, Richard and I went out to dinner and then Richard and I spent some quiet time in our room just relaxing and thinking and "being" together. I shifted, took very deep breaths and tried to find "my spirit" again. I also asked Richard to join me in finding our hope.

I can't tell you how wonderful it was on Monday afternoon when Dr. Foltz walked in and told us (Richard, Pam, Dana and I) that Richard's MRI looked absolutely free of tumor. I jumped up and hugged the man and let out a little squeal "how embarrassing" and then hugged Richard...held on for an extra long time....just basking in the good news. He took us out and showed us the beautiful MRI pictures.....I had no idea, really, what I was looking at....but I could tell and feel that there was nothing "icky" in there....especially with Dr. Foltz taking us on a tour of pictures of slices of Rick's precious brain. It was awesome.

The next day we walked into the Cancer Partnership building in Everett and proudly handed over copies of the MRI....so that the amazing Dr. Congdon (no silly, not Condom) could see Richard's amazing brain. He was at his other office in Woodinville that morning.....but I know when he looked at the discs....he sat back and took a deep breath and smiled from ear to ear. The chemo is working!!!! Believe me....it made yesterdays chemo session totally different than the ones before.

We will see him in person during Richard's next chemo. appointment. We will ask what lies ahead in terms of continuing the chemo and future plans. Until then, Richard continues to struggle with the chemo side effects....along with the effects from the anti-seizure medication that he was initially put on (we are currently weaning him off that and starting a new one), but we are not worrying....not waiting for the "other shoe" to drop....we are basking in the glow of a tumor free brain.

Thank you.....everyone for your prayers and kind thoughts. The food that was delivered has been wonderful.....yummy......and your words of encourgement have helped us find our strength again.

Blessings to you all!

Love Sherri

4 comments:

deb did it said...

Richard and Sherri,

I am doing the happy dance with you both...can you hear it all the way from Texas?? love you....

Anonymous said...

Keeping you in my daily prayers!

Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you. Job 22:21

Hugs, Elaine

www.caringbridge.org/visit/johnshattuck

www.caringbridge.org/visit/bettywilliams

Heather, paperfollies.typepad.com said...

Yeah! I knew with all your love and all your hope and all the hearts sending out prayers to the universe that things would be good! XOXO

Anonymous said...

Congratulations you guys. How wonderful you must feel right now. I hope you Richard is able to handle the side effects. I pray for you both for a healing and to never lose hope. You are right Sherri, there is such a sense of loss almost daily in this brain tumor journey, but remember you still have each other. Hugs to both of you. ~nicole