We just heard from Swedish and Richard's surgery is schedule for some time around 12:00 p.m. (high noon...or close to it!) on Thursday. No matter how badly I want time to slow down time just moves faster and faster and I feel like I'm hanging on with all my might as the wind challenges me to stay connected. These last few days have been excruciatingly long and painful as we anticipate this surgery. Richard keeps saying, "It's just brain surgery" but even those words feel pretty awesome to me. Brain Surgery sounds so ominous. I remember Dr. Foltz telling us, last time, that brain surgery really isn't that hard??????? Oh my gosh....how can that be?
I'm trying desperately to provide a little calmness and sanity here at home for Richard. I'm beyond knowing what else I can do when I know that he is feeling so sad about this turn of events. I really think we both thought we would be the exception to how Glioblastomas "usually" act and that Richard was going to fly through this disease with just a blip on our radar. To have a recurrence so soon has been very difficult for both of us....but especially for him.
I keep reminding both of us about the wonderful quality of life that we still have. That seems so worth fighting for. Sometimes cancer is so huge...especially Glioblastoma Brain Cancer but our spirits are huge and together with our families and friends we can continue fighting. I know how hard it is to keep it up.....I see it in his beautiful eyes and in his shoulders as he holds the weight of this so bravely. I try, feebly, to help and to take care of the details...but sometimes that just doesn't feel like enough.
I don't know what will come with this surgery....I mean I'm envisioning my beautiful husband opening his eyes and smiling widely at me...immediately saying that he is OK. I'm envisioning him wiggling all his fingers and toes on command and making his usual request for something cheesy and for a triple tall Starbucks Americano with half & half. I'm envisioning grabbing his beautiful hand and holding it softly.....rubbing his arm....and feeling him squeeze my hand with assurance and warmth. I can't wait to rub his head....he loves that now... I can't wait to look into his soft eyes and see the wisdom and love that always is there. Then I will be O.K. Then we will be O.K. and we can start healing from this phase.
I feel everyone thinking of us and wishing us well. Thank you!!! So many of you have stuck by us through the past eight months.. We have been so blessed with tremendous support and love. It has meant a great deal to both of us. This journey has taught us so much.....but especially about the value of true friendship. As I sit quietly...trying to calm the many thoughts in my head....I often feel a warmth and peace begin to cover me. I know that that is all my beautiful angels sending us well wishes and prayers. It is such a treasure to have all of you so very near.
Love, love, love Sherri
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6 comments:
You have both been right there-at the front of my thoughts-every hour, every day. I wish Richard well and good health and recovery and Sherri calmness and love. Your whole family is in my thoughts and prayers.
Lisa A.
Sherri, Keeping you both close in my thoughts and prayers today tomorrow and always. Stay Strong and focus on your love for eachother.It will be OK!!!!!!!!!!!!You are not alone in this journey so lean on all of us who are with you in spirit. Many positive energy vibes going your way. My bible study meets tomorrow and you both will be first on our list for prayers. Love, Peace Hope and Understanding, Michele
Sherri,
My love and light is streaming your way all the way from Texas today for you and Richard.
Candles of every shape and size are lit beside your pottery pieces, photos, crystals, incense, angels, mermaids and heart shaped rocks.
You will endure my friend, as you are full of grace. love and light, Deb
Richard and Sherri ,continuing to pray for healing and comfort during this most difficult time.Love, Peace and Hope, Michele
Sherri and Richard,
You've been on my mind so much the last few days. I'm praying and hoping all went well and that things are looking up.
love,
Trueda
I'm sending a truckload of prayers (who cares about the price of gas!!)your way and hopes that we will hear from you soon. You are two very important people in my life and I only want the best.Sending positive thoughts and praying the Lord hold you in his arms and lay his love upon you,
Lisa A.
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