Monday, June 16, 2008

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day Richard!!! Emily and Dana came over to our house bright and early and we all spent the whole day together. It was so wonderful for both Richard and I (the only thing that would have made it more perfect was if Alex was there too...he was missed!!!!). The day began with yummy, fresh roasted coffee as the kids told us about their previous evening's adventures. Then, as their Dad gave detailed instructions, they made our traditional peanut butter pancake breakfast. It was delicious....even the dogs enjoyed their own plate of pancakes with syrup and peanut butter, served by fork no less!!!!!

The rest of the day was spent doing whatever felt right. Emily, Richard and I went to the Mall, quickly, to exchange some shoes that Dana had bought his Dad as a gift (they have been deemed the most comfortable shoes Richard has ever owned). The kids and I layed on a blanket and soaked up some rays as their Dad took a quick nap. We all sat on the deck and drank iced coffees, enjoying the warmth of the beautiful summer day. After Emily sadly went to work Dana, Richard and I finished a project down by the barn that Richard and his Dad had started a few weeks ago. Richard had thought up this amazing way of getting this HUGE tarp up over these poles that he and his Dad had put together in order to make a shelter for our motorhome/toyhome. Dana and I were in awe of the pulley system that Richard had devised with rope that unabled us to put the tarp over the poles and then tie it down with bungees, etc. Wow!!! The man is a genius!!! The day ended with hotdogs and Grandma Fran's famous potatoe salad and deviled eggs as we watched the basketball playoff game. Emily was back home by the end of the game and was able to partake in the hotdog feast!!!

When the kids left.....I looked over at my beautiful husband and saw a genuine smile on his face. He was exhausted.......but throughout the day he was good about sitting and letting us do things as he directed and he also took a nap and "rested his eyes" at times as we watched T.V. But still....I know that the day was long for him....but so important!!! He needed to "be" with his children. I think it was wonderful medicine.

I know that it was important for the kids too!!!! Our tendency, of course as parents, is to protect our children from experiences that are hard. But I am learning that "hard" can also have its own beauty and intimacy about it that is so unique and moving. We shouldn't always try to protect them from hard.....but maybe model what to do when hard hits and then stand beside them as they approach it and begin to experience it on their own. It's awful that this is happening to Emily, Dana and Alex...but as we've said before there are blessings that are constantly coming from this experience. These lessons are some of the many blessings.

The children need to make the same adjustments regarding their Dad's physical limitations just like Richard and I are having to do. I'm realizing how important it is to let them "take care" of their Dad, see his weaknesses, tend to his needs. They need to see Richard and I working together in this new reality of ours. I know now that we are teaching them, clumsily at times, about how to be compassionate and loving during difficult times and that this is a life lesson....a huge life lesson that they will carry with them forever.

You know...from our first date I knew that Richard was an amazing Father. When he spoke about his children his voice became soft and tender and his face glowed in a way that I had never seen before. His descriptions of his children touched me deeply. He was so proud of them and they obviously brought him tremendous joy. I could tell, without a doubt, that being a parent was, by far, his greatest joy and accomplishment. Before I even met his children I knew that they were blessed.

Over the years I have grown to know Richard as a parent intimately. I still feel so honored to sit amongst them as Richard shares advise, life experiences, suggestions and many lessons with his children. There is such love between the three of them....such admiration...such pride that circles all of them. I've never seen anything like it. They have a peaceful, easy rythym about them. They have been gracious in letting Alex and I join them.

I hope that you all had a fabulous weekend in the sun and warmth. We love you all and continue to feel your prayers and well wishes. Thank you for continuing to care about us with such dedication. It means so much.

Blessings,

Sherri

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sherri,
You're post filled me with a quiet peace and wonder. Wonder over your seemingly unending supply of love and consideration in this difficult time Learning the lesson of standing by and letting our loved ones hurt and cope with it is something I need to learn. Thanks for the reminder and as always, you and Richard are in my prayers.

Grandma Lise said...

Thanks Michele for expressing so well how many of us feel...

Our thoughts are with you Sherri and Richard, each and every day.

Lisa P.