Rain Rain Go Away!!!

We've had such a busy few days. Richard's dear Father has been here and I've absolutely loved having him. There is something about watching a Father tend to his chldren that absolutely touches my heart. I can see, easily, where Richard gets his tender touch and his strength. Leo is a very special man.

We spent our days being busy...doing chores, making soft blankies for my children, playing cards, watching T.V. and all the flooding, cooking together and helping Richard whenever we could. Richard is sleeping alot now....and so Leo and I had some precious talks and beautiful time just being together.

Leo's wife, Angie, is very sick over in Wenatchee. She has been in Wenatchee in the hospital after weathering two surgerys where parts of her small and large intestine were removed. When Angie got stronger after her operations the doctors told Leo to go and visit his son. They felt that Angie was on the road to recovery. Can you imagine? A sick wife and a very ill son????? How horrible for this man. Angie is still facing a third, very serious, surgery where they will try and fix a main artery leading to her stomach which is blocked and interfering with proper digestion. However, this can't occur until she is stronger from these current situations. They have a rough road ahead...but we are all hopeful and believe that Angie is going to get better and be dancing again, with her gorgeous husband, very soon.

Last night, when Leo called his wife, she really wasn't feeling very well and he made the decision to return to Wenatchee. However, now all passes are closed because of the rain and flooding. He was so frustrated (we all were) and he decided to leave this afternoon to at least get down to Pam's in Everett so that the minute the passes open he can scoot across. Hopefully, tomorrow he will be able to return to the bedside of his beloved.

Meanwhile, today, Alex (my son) came over here from Orcas Island to have four wisdom teeth removed. YUK!!!! My poor baby!!! Thank you to my brother-in-law for taking Alex and I to the oral surgeon. It was a treat to be able to spend some uninterrupted time with Richard (yes, another Richard) and just talk while they were yanking Alex's teeth. Richard and I shared a very tender moment together when Alex started throwing up on the way out of the doctor's office...I ran for help while Richard helped Alex to the men's restroom. I will say no more other then GROSS and ACHE for Alex's miserableness. As Richard loaded us into the car...he actually was laughing and informed me that that little moment absolutely was not part of the deal!!!! Bless him for hanging in there with us.

For the rest of the day I was playing Nurse to both Alex and Richard. It felt absolutely perfect to be taking care of both of these men. When you love someone as much as I love Richard and my children, taking care of them is so easy and wonderful!!!! It's been a long time since I've gotten to take care of Alex. He is a big adult now...but when he's sick I think he was glad his Mommy was there. He was very sweet!!!

However, my plate became a little too full when Jamaica, our old, little dog (who is in doggie diapers because of constant peeing problems but is otherwise the picture of health) walked in from outside with poop everywhere!!!! I did start to cry a little at this point...feeling very sorry for myself...but I slapped myself around, took a deep breath and bathed and dried our little dog. Phew!!! Life can be amazing sometimes. And Phew!!! We can handle a lot when we put our mines to it!!! And YEAH...this evening he is smelling like lavender and vanilla. That's very nice.

I've been so down in my last few entries that I wanted to share a few thoughts that I have had. Richard and I are experiencing something that is so unique. Yes, it is the most heartbreaking thing I have ever experienced but at the same time I have learned so much and have been blessed in so many ways. Richard has chosen to keep fighting. That in itself is impressive. And I have the privilege of standing beside him in this fight. We treasure every moment. We touch, we hold hands...I'm never very far away in case he needs help standing or sitting or if he needs anything. I love helping him. I walk beside him as he moves through the house, making sure he's safe but also just loving the warmth I feel coming from his body. I watch him sleep. I watch him smile. I celebrate having him here with me and just our time together. This is blessed time. Even though he is sleeping more and more I treasure just being with him.

Tonight, after he went to bed, I stood outside with Mali, listening to the roar of our very full creek. It was beautiful out....I saw the moon for the first time in many days and I could sense the weather changing. As I stood there I felt this wonderful warmth melt all over me and I almost felt like I was glowing. It was an awesome moment...at first sort of scary/lonely but soon my heart and soul became very peaceful and I could take deep, nourishing breaths. It lasted for just a few moments...but it was very real. I don't know exactly what happened out there but I have my suspicions.

There are times with Richard when he feels very far away from me. He goes to a place that is totally separate from me. These moments use to terrify me. I would look at him and call his name and move in very close. I would touch him and ask him what he was thinking and usually he says either he doesn't know or that he was thinking absolutely nothing. Then I would jibber, jabber away....kiss him, hold his hand. He would be back with me and I would feel relief.

Well, I have learned and come to believe these moments are sacred time for Richard. I believe that it is at these moments that Richard (not consciously but on some plane) is surrounded by beautiful, loving angels. I think they are helping him, preparing him for the huge transition from this world to the afterlife. I've come to believe that these times are imperative and that this instruction from these holy beings is helping Richard gain wisdom, strength and courage for what lay ahead. I don't fear those times anymore and never try to bring him back to me. He must have this support now in order to maintain the immense peace that he has demonstrated throughout this whole experience.

Is it possible that tonight, as I let myself be quiet and still for just a moment, my own loving angels came and surrounded me and on some level gave me instruction, wisdom and courage to move through this experience also with peace? What a wonderful thought. I really don't know how to do this time now and I can't find clear instructions anywhere. But tonight I'm thinking that maybe I do it by allowing myself to just stop, be quiet and still and breathe. Maybe, just maybe, each of us will have our own holy beings that will be beside us, showing us the way........

Tonight I have found a little peace. It probably won't last for long and in my hyper-active way I may forget and I may feel frightened and horribly lost again. But tonight I have faith that remembering will come quickly. I will learn to just stop and be still and breathe and the way will become clear.

Love to all of you. Please continue to keep my beloved husband in your thoughts and prayers. He is still glowing and peaceful...I am so thankful for that.

Blessings,

Sherri