That isn's a very creative title...but it is the best I could come up with. I believe that all of us have entered a type of "time warp".... We often look at one another and say, "I can't believe that we are doing this." "I can't believe that we are talking about this." But slowly I believe that it is sinking in. It is horribly sad...yet I continue to feel as though it is such a gift to be caring for this wonderful man....the horror of it all can be diminwshed.
Richard grows weaker daily. He sleeps a great deal, now has a catheter and has had episodes of breathing problems. His voice is very quiet...a whisper and sometimes it is difficult to understand him. However, there are such beautifully tender moments...Dana and I giving him a bed bath, Jason stroking his cheek, him thanking me and telling me that he loves me and seeing flashes of his beautiful smile.
Dana and Emily are very close....I often see them holding one another, stroking each other's back, bowing their heads together....comforting one another as only brothers and sisters can do. It warms my heart greatly. Sometimes they include me in that tenderness....but I have learned to reach out and tell them what I need and they are always willing to give it to me. They are beautiful children....they are Richard's children.
My son is coming tomorrow....and I know for me that will be a comfort. I can feel his sadness over the phone lines and his worry about me, Richard and his step-brother and sister. I will welcome him here with open arms. I can't wait to have him hold me. He is a man now and he is a great hugger. I am thankful he is coming even if it is just for a few days.
My friends...we are moving through this holy time. We are very busy....hospice has supporter us beautifully and we move forward with caring for Richard under their compassionate guidance. While they keep us busy....I know their intentions are right and in the end the preparations will make things much easier.
I wish that everyone could be here and just observe the miracle of this experience. I believe it is golden. I feel honored to be part of it.
My love to evereyone. I wish this were longer.....but I am needed.
Love Sherri
7 comments:
Sherri...
I read this on another blog today and immediately thought of you:
"the definition of grace is being able to hold pain and beauty in your heart at the same moment"
Grace defines you.
I love you.
g.
Wrapping loving arms around you all.
Joanne and Kevin
you are so much in my heart - I love you.
thank you so much for taking the time to share what is happening....
it is indeed a holy time... and one filled with pain and impending loss....
you are amazing in how you are handling it both...
my thoughts, my love.. is with you all--
yes, you truly are the definition of grace. Sherri, you are loved, respected and held by all of your Angels.
There are no words only feelings. They seem to swirl around a song that is Richard and Sherri and encompass children, dogs, friends, and a loving ache that wants to reach out and wrap you all in my arms. You in my heart. Cheryl
Sherri,
Holding you all in my heart and prayers.
with much love,
Trueda
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