To all who have loved Richard

I am very tired but I feel like I need to take a few minutes to let you all know what is going on. This will be short.....I'm weary and know that my sleep is crucial to face this next phase of our journey.

Richard had an MRI yesterday. The doctor (our angel....Dr. Gittle Goodman-Wilson) came to our home and shared the news with Richard and his children, Dana and Emily, and I. The cancer has aggressively spread throughout Richard's brain and no further treatment can be done. I didn't need an MRI to tell me this; however Richard wanted to go through with the test and so did his children. I am surprised that even though I felt like I knew what was happening....hearing it and seeing the report took away all of the denial that was still part of my deepest wishes that Richard would live with me forever. The news was devastating. Last night was very intense....but today, even though bleary eyed, we are all facing the challenge of meeting Richard's wishes in the best way that we can.

Hospice had been called in last week. We had to stop it....so that insurance would pay for the MRI....but the minute the results came in, we re-signed and hospice has started again. Family has gathered....lots of comings and goings....but I'm trying to stay centered and focused, knowing clearly what my job is at this point. My main focus is on providing Richard with as much comfort and love as I can as he faces this last stage of this journey that we have been on.

Richard has carefully taught us all how to proceed through this phase. We are all moving within his constant message of love and compassion and everything else has fallen away. We are all tireless in our mission. I believe that this is Richard's last lesson on this earthly plane....how to receive care from others instead of always being the caregiver. As expected, he is facing this challenge with grace and courage.

He has prepared me well and I know my role as his partner and wife. His children are totally amazing.....as is all our family and friends. Whenever we feel lost we look at him and the way becomes obvious. He is surrounded by glowing candles, pictures, amazing smells and tender hands. I believe we are all holding him up....standing beside him as he prepares to leave this earthly place. He is at total peace....he is calm, tranquil and shining with the assurance of a man who has lived within the pure light and understanding of how this Universe works. It is awesome to watch.

Yes, I am frightened...sometimes breathless about how fast it is all moving. But I know that we will all be O.K.. We will be sad, lost at times, totally forlorn....but yet strong in the knowledge that Richard feels so sure that he has reached a state of completion with this life and is ready to move on.

Please keep us in your prayers. The work we are doing now is true soul work. We all hear the true essence of a higher power directing our every move. We are thankful for all of you. You are giving us strength to find meaning in this most difficult time.

Love each other....that is exactly what Richard would want.

My love,
Sherri