Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Oh-Oh!!! It's dark out AGAIN!!!

It's amazing that today marks ONE MONTH since Glioblastoma Multiforme Level 4 came knocking at our door. Can that be possible? Oh yeah...it must be true....my shoulder's ache and my neck is as hard as a rock, I can't speak in complete sentences, my eyes are scratchy from not only the shed tears...but also from the tears that I have held back so that I don't upset anyone, it's nine o'clock and Richard has finally wandered off to bed after sleeping in his chair for the past two hours and I haven't had to cook for four entire weeks (the food has been outrageously delicious too!!!). Definately....this is what a life looks like when it is totally shook up by the horrible cancer of someone you love deeply.

I must say, however, that I can see ways that cancer has only made me stronger and more sure of what is important....more clear about who I really am and the things that I have to continue to work on to be a better person. Cancer has humbled me and has clearly told me that to join this fight I have to change for the better. Cancer has also given me the unique opportunity to see my own truth and the truth of my husband and to see the perfection in our union as a couple.

It's odd to realize the good parts of something that has also been so devastating. I think that that is the complexity of this disease. There is a transformation for all those who touch cancer in some way...nothing can ever be the same. We have a choice regarding whether the transformation has purpose and empowerment or whether we face the challenge as passively as possible. These past four weeks have been so difficult and frightening; yet for me it has also been a time of confirmation.

And through it all Richard and I are having remarkably good days. As I reflect at day's end, I can always find moments of laughter, times of sweet closeness, stollen kisses and hugs, sick humor, peaceful times and lots and lots of love. That is the miracle...really!!! Life continues....and we try to ease into the flow without too much disruption. It is truly amazing!!!

On our months anniversary (yes....I think we will add "The Arrival of Cancer" as a poor excuse for a Hallmark moment) I am reflecting on all the beautiful people who have supported us with such grace and love. We have been so blessed!!! Thank you to all who have kept us in your thoughts and prayers. I am so touched by all the special things that people have done for us. We couldn't have made it this far wthout you.

Blessings, Sherri

2 comments:

Canis latrans said...

Richard and Sherri:
I marvel at your great and beautiful wisdom. Not only are you a totally 'cute' couple, but incredibly powerful in your walk in this world.
Christopher and I are so proud to know you...your questions are our questions as well...i wish you sweetness today. Karen

freshtopia said...

Hello Richard, Sherri,
Oscar Grimm here. I hope this email finds you both well. I wrote you a couple weeks ago on the other blog and only now had a chance to catch up with your return comment. Please jot down my email address so we don't loose track of each other, it's a much more reliable way of getting ahold of me.

grimm at papercardinal dot com

I would love to share some of my research with you. I know how this diagnosis can throw you to the grinder and not give you a moments pause to sit back and actually think about how to deal with it.

There's a couple treatments I've found that I believe to be tremendously helpful, and I didn't find out about them through my oncologist. Almost all the things that have been working for me have come from my nutritionist's office. Her name is Dr. Jeanne Wallace, and you can find her easily through a google search. She's a Ph.D, MD nutritionist, and knows more than anyone else I've worked with, including some of the hot shots at UCSF and Stanford.

First thing I would do is both a google search, and a google video search, for "Dr Banerji" and "Ruta 6". These are two doctors, brothers actually, working on brain cancer in Calcutta India. They are getting amazing numbers from their treatment and the components only cost around $20/month. Further, their work has been supported by M.D.Anderson Cancer Center in the International Journal of Oncology.

There's probably more to tell, but let's start there. Please to write (email) if you have any questions.
All my best, and god bless.
Oscar