As Richard has written, we've had a wild past few days. I love the pictures he posted. I think they truly show why I have been so anxious, distracted and well.....crazy......watching that pocket slowly fill.....& then start leaking which was quite a horror!!!! But my brave husband was, as usual, so amazing... thanking the doctor for doing such a good stitch job (the man really hurt him with that stitch job!!!), assuring the nurse that she was absolutely great, supporting Dana as he turned white with the prospect of having to watch his Dad get stitches (I sent Dana on many errands while the procedure was being done) and remaining talkative and funny with both my sisters (who gave us rides home) even after 9 mg. of morphine. The man shines in the middle of his own gruesome crisis'!!!! I am so proud of him!!!
Today the pocket has filled back up with liquid (something we were told would keep happening until the pressure at the tumor site equalizes and stops oozing). This afternoon he's been very quiet and on our walk today he asked if we could slow our pace down and then we came home early. Of course this scares me....my husband is such a strong man who always pushes himself to go faster, go farther. I know that the man just had brain surgery a little over a week ago and that being weak, quiet, confused are all things that are to be expected. And I know that this is a temporary thing but the whimpy part of me gets really frightened.
I've decided, though, that I need to use gratitude at times when I'm feeling afraid. Fear can become immobilizing and totally take over, producing such negativity. Refocusing on all the things that we have to be grateful for has gotten me through some really rough times. And we have so much to be thankful for.
Well....I'm off to put my feet up and try to do something "normal" like watching a little T.V. Is T.V. watching "normal". "Normal" still feels like maybe that isn't what I should be doing....but watching his lump grow feels very nonproductive.
Thank you for all your continued support, prayers and light!!!! I can feel the warmth...deep in my heart. That is what I am hanging on to.
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2 comments:
Sher! We should have a TV night! Bets and I will introduce you to TMZ TV!
*grin* It's probably not "normal" for 40+ year old women to watch TMZ TV, but it is fun.
; )
Kiss the tip-top of your man's head for me.
I love you.
g.
Oh my goodness, I remember the oozing! Once when I was taking my mom to the drs, I ran a stop sign and got stopped by a cop. I was so mortified, I burst into tears! My sweet mom showed the cop her container of ooze to get his sympathy so I wouldnt get a ticket... it worked!!! LOL (now)
I was thinking this morning as I was walking to work that one of the many reasons I was looking foward to seeing you at AFF was I KNEW you'd help me get everyone (in our group) to dance! We'd put on our IPODs and go for it! :D
Hugs to you and Richard! He is an amazing man! I know I wouldnt have near his courage and grace!
Debbie who is remembering one of your first posts from your other blog.
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